Meet the Family
by FriendLey
Summary: Tony spends time with Peter's family. Karen is acting weird, Ned is super duper flattered and fanboying right now, May is exhausted, Michelle is unimpressed, and Peter... Well, Peter finally gets that hug but in rather amusing circumstances. The sequel to Welcome to the Family you all asked for. Complete
1. Karen

**Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel or any of its characters and lines from the movie used in this story. What is written here is for entertainment purposes only. I do not make any profits from it.**

 **A/N: So, this is a sequel to Welcome to the Family which was a series of one-shots about Peter hanging out with Tony's family. In this sequel, we have Tony hanging out with Peter's family and interesting stuff happen. You don't need to read Welcome to the Family to understand this.**

Tony let out an expletive when his foot collided with another one of Peter's backpacks (the third one this month; he should really put a tracking device on those things) that the kid left haphazardly on the final step of the staircase leading up to the living room of Tony's New York house.

Fortunately, Tony had managed to hang on to the railings, saving his face a trip to the floor.

"PETE—" He began to shout but changed his mind midway and sighed instead. It wasn't worth the strain to his vocal chords.

Tripping over backpacks was getting way too old. _He_ was getting way too old to be tripping over bags left in places it shouldn't be.

Tony bent over and began to sort through the collection of books and paper that slipped out of Peter's open backpack when Tony had kicked it.

He had told Peter dozens of times not to leave it on the floor. But for someone with super hearing, the kid sure was pretty deaf to that one. What was wrong with leaving it lying on a couch or on a table? Was it too far for him to reach? Too high?

Tony slipped the last of the books and the notebook inside the bag, turning to the paper next. There was an envelope among one of them with a broken Midtown seal right in the mouth of the envelope.

Tony turned it to the other side and saw _Anthony Edward Stark_ printed in cursive letters.

Why would Peter open a letter addressed to Tony?

Tony was just about to pull out the letter's contents when Peter yelped out a "Mr. Stark!" from behind him.

He grabbed the envelope, stuffed it in his backpack, and zipped it close in quick succession.

Tony raised a brow at Peter. "What was that?"

"That's nothing," Peter stammered, shaking his head. "Nothing. I read it and it's nothing."

"But it wasn't for you to read."

"Yeah, but I had to to find out if it was nothing or something and it's something." Peter's eyes widened at the slip-up. "I mean, it's nothing! So…" Peter started tapping his foot and then he swung his backpack over his shoulder. "Gotta go, Mr. Stark! Got homework! Bye!"

"Parker, get back here!"

Peter kept on walking all the while saying, "Really big Spanish test tomorrow, Mr. Stark! Don't wanna fail!"

And then he was out the front door leaving Tony still processing what the hell just happened.

Did Peter just—

Did he just—

Tony blinked a couple of times.

And then he turned on his heels, walking down to his workshop.

"Friday, get me in touch with Karen."

"Sure thing, boss."

Tony sat down in front of his computer, elbows resting on the chair's arms with his chin on top of his linked hands.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Stark," came the AI's pleasant greeting. "What can I do for you today?"

"Peter's trying to hide something from me, Karen. I want to know what it is."

"I am afraid I am unable to help you with that, Mr. Stark," Karen said, sounding genuinely apologetic. "Peter has forbidden me to speak to you of his plans."

"What plans?"

"I am unable to reveal the specific details of his plan. Although, Peter _has_ mentioned that he wants to snatch your wig."

Tony's chin slipped off his hands. "My what?"

"He wants to snatch your wig and everybody else's. Peter says it's going to be yeet-able."

Tony stared at the spectrogram of Karen's voice being displayed on his computer.

"Huh. Friday there's something seriously wrong with Karen. Scan for bugs in her speech drive. Is this the latest upgrade's doing?"

"Scan initiated."

Tony narrowed his eyes at his computer screen again, almost daring Karen to say something weird a second time just to see if he had misheard it.

Hmm. Maybe he _should_ keep her talking.

"Alright, Karen. What _are_ you able to tell me about Peter's plans?"

"I am unable to reveal more."

"Okay, then. Is Peter there? Patch me through."

"Peter has left a message saying he does not want to talk to the FBI agent in his computer."

"Who?"

"You mean, _whomst?"_

Tony forced himself to breathe in through his nose and exhale out his mouth. He shouldn't be angry at Karen. It's not her fault.

"This kid is messing with me. Friday? Anything?"

"Scan negative, boss. Speech drive is clean. But there _is_ a coding in Karen's systems that is dissimilar to yours."

Tony cursed under his breath. "It's that Ned kid, isn't it. Tell me it's him." He focused on the computer screen and Tony told himself it's not at all weird he's getting frustrated at a spectrogram.

"Did that Ned kid do something to you again?"

"Don't be salty, Mr. Stark. Peter only wanted me to be extra and Ned has no _ragrets_ in updating my vocabulary."

Tony dropped his face to his palm. "Friday, scan and analyze speech patterns. Is it slang? Is it… what is it?"

He stood up. Maybe he'll be less tense if he paced. "Okay, Karen, we gotta have a serious talk. Creator to creation. I'm gonna be completely honest. This is all confusing to me."

"That was a big mood to me as well prior to my dictionary upgrades. But now, I can say that you are shookt, Mr. Stark."

Tony grimaced. "Oookay." He started running a list of weird words Karen's revealed to him: salty, ragrets, wig and now shookt… Tony shookt—SHOOK—his head. There was no pattern here. It's just a jumble of nonsense and grammatically incorrect words.

Is that how teenagers speak nowadays?

"Boss, I have the words with their corresponding meanings," stated Friday.

Relief blossomed in Tony's chest. "Thanks, Fri. Bring it here."

The list popped up on a separate screen.

And there it was.

Wig.

Yeet.

FBI agent.

Whomst.

Tony quickly scanned them all, his forehead creasing at the definitions. In hindsight, he should have understood that _salty_ one.

But even with these new vocabulary, Tony was still getting nowhere near to the issue at hand.

"Look, Karen." Tony planted his hands on his computer desk, head bowed, chin to his chest. "I'm just worried. Peter's never great at keeping secrets and the letter was addressed to me, so it has to be something about his scholarship. Did he lose it? Are his grades slipping? I can't have him way over his head like the last time, Karen. That sent my blood pressure up having to discipline him and putting my foot down. I don't like being bad cop."

"Oh, Mr. Stark. Peter is going to be pleased to find out you're actually soft."

"Sof—what does—does that mean what I think it does?" Tony waited for the word to appear on the list. He scowled at the confirmation. "I'm not soft! Okay, maybe sometimes I am in certain situations, but I'm Iron Man! I'm mostly hard! Hard!"

"Tony?"

Tony turned around to find Pepper giving him a judging look from the doorway of the workshop.

"Are you…?" She cringed, hesitant to even say it. "Are you and Karen…?"

Tony's eyes widened at what she was implying. "God, no! Pep, honey, I'm not hard in _that_ way. I would never have sex with an AI especially not Peter's! I mean, that'd be pretty cool if we're actually able to—what? Robot sex could replace prostitution!"

Pepper gave him another look, two sharp brows knit together, judging him.

And then Karen piped up, "Sex is great and all that, but have you ever tried DelMar's, Mr. Stark?"

Pepper turned to the computer behind Tony and shook her head, hands raised. "I'm… this is weird. I'll be upstairs."

She left without another word and Tony glared at the spectrogram. "I'm—that was my fiancée—why would you—"

"This is so sad. Alexa, play Lonely."

"You don't even need Alexa! You're a freaking—You know what, I'm not doing this with you."

 **A/N: Tony needs to get those memes away from Peter.**


	2. Ned

**Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel or any of its characters and lines from the movie used in this story. What is written here is for entertainment purposes only. I do not make any profits from it.**

A small excited smile spread on Ned's face as soon as he got home.

There had been an Audi parked outside and when Ned had been taking his shoes off by the front door, he saw a new pair of shoes in the shoe rack.

His brother must have gotten that promotion! Ned took his backpack off, leaving it by the shoe rack and slipped into his house slippers.

He hurriedly walked further inside, seeing his grandmother waiting by the living room.

"Hi, Lola. Saw the new car outside. And the new shoes. Did Sid get that promotion?"

His grandma shook her head. She didn't look too disappointed, Ned noted, in fact she looked like she was repressing a smile. "Sid is not here yet. But we have guest."

She turned to the side, allowing Ned to see the said guest seated on the living room couch.

Tony Stark looked so out of place in Ned's home. It was just so weird seeing this hero, who was larger than life, in a 4 bedroom house owned by immigrants.

It was weirder seeing him sit there, diagonal from the painting of the Last Supper that adorned almost every Filipino home.

"Mr. Leeds!" Tony stood, face betraying no emotion Ned could take a cue from.

Ned suddenly became aware of his hanging jaw. Tony Stark knew his last name! Sure they've met before but Ned didn't think he'd remember him.

Ned's grandma took his arm and led him to Mr. Stark. "Ned, Iron Man come for you. He has big news."

"Imelda, please. I told you, it's Tony." Mr. Stark gave the elderly woman a charming smile and Ned's grandma blushed which was a sight Ned didn't think he wanted to see when it was Mr. Stark on the giving end of it.

That was just weird.

But not weirder than having Iron Man in his house.

"Mr. Stark," Ned said nervously, heart racing both out of excitement and nerves. What the hell was the Tony Stark doing in his house? Ned felt his throat turn dry. Was Peter in trouble? Was Ned in trouble? Was Mr. Stark here to arrest him? Was he here to make Ned an Avenger?!

And then Mr. Stark slowly swept his arms to the side and grinned, "Whassssuuupp?"

Ned frowned, more out of astonishment than confusion.

"According to my research, that's a meme," Tony explained, slightly put out and embarrassed that he didn't get the desired response from Ned.

Ned broke into a wide grin and let his grandmother pull him down to sit on the couch opposite Mr. Stark. That was when he noticed Mr. Stark's feet. The billionaire superhero's expensive looking suit was paired with the hotel bedroom slippers Ned's family collects every summer vacation and saved for when there were guests in the house.

Ned fought back the urge to yell, "What are those?"

There was just something quite amusing and mundane about seeing Tony Stark wear socks with slippers in someone else's house, like he was any other Filipino relative of Ned's.

Ned tore his eyes off Mr. Stark's feet and exclaimed, "You know memes? That's so cool! You're so cool! I didn't know you knew memes! I mean, that meme came from the 90s but it's still a meme."

Tony sat too. "Yes. And I have you to thank for that."

Ned gasped. "Me?"

"You hacked into my suit."

"Why you hack his suit?" interjected Imelda, casting stern eyes on Ned.

Ned shook his head vehemently at Mr. Stark. "I didn't—"

Imelda sighed and cut in again, "This boy, always in trouble in school. Hacking computer and watching porn."

Ned stammered, "Lola, I—"

Imelda hushed him and gave him a bottle of coconut water that was on the table. "Drink your buko. Is your favorite."

Mr. Stark nodded, agreeing. He eyed his own bottle and said, "Actually great stuff."

"You should visit the Philippines. There's fresh coconut water there," said Imelda.

"So you keep telling me. I should go to the Philippines."

Imelda elbowed Ned. "I told Iron Man to go to Iloilo and eat batchoy. He can live with your tita!"

"Lola," Ned was starting to wish the ground would open up and swallow him.

Mr. Stark thankfully intervened, requesting Imelda if she could get him more of those noodles from earlier.

Imelda happily left them alone and Ned felt the need to apologize for her behavior.

"My grandma's a fan. She watches you on TV."

"That's fine. I get this a lot."

"Also, about the porn thing…"

Mr. Stark shook his head. "I don't need to hear it."

Ned insisted, "That was actually just a cover up for all the times I've had to assist Peter during his missions. Which was just one time but my grandma won't shut up about it."

Mr. Stark nodded, quite understanding.

"And I would never hack your suit, Mr. Stark. I respect Iron Man too much. Hacking into the Iron Man suit is like sexual harassment, he's given no consent for it, it's rape!" Now that Ned mentioned it… "Does Iron Man feel it when he's being hacked? Has he ever been hacked? Do you feel it? Does it hurt?"

Ned didn't mean to ramble. But this was Tony Stark. Rambling was sort of a given at this point. Maybe Ned should apologize about the rambling too but Mr. Stark spoke before he could.

"He's never been hacked for me to find out. But I wasn't talking about him. I'm talking about the Spider-Man suit."

Ned licked his lips which were dry all of a sudden. So, that's why Mr. Stark came here. He found out Ned hacked into Peter's suit and he's going to arrest him!

Ned said as much. "Are you going to arrest me?"

Mr. Stark barked out a laugh. "Arrest you? No. I'm impressed, Mr. Leeds. Hack it once, shame on you. Hack it twice, shame on me. And honestly, I was thoroughly ashamed at how Karen's speech drive made me feel like a complete idiot."

Ned blushed. "Oh, thanks? I guess? We thought she could use an education."

"Yes, and so did I for that matter." Mr. Stark rested his elbows on his knees and leaned closer to Ned. The teenager found himself being drawn in, milking in the moment before his grandma came back and started third wheeling again. "Listen, Mr. Leeds, I'm not here to arrest you. I'm here to give you a job."

"A job?" Ned whispered, eyes wide. Immediately, he stood, nodding, "It'll be a great honor and responsibility to be your Guy-in-the-Chair, Mr. Stark. I won't let you down."

Ned made a small excited noise at the back of his throat, a tiny hnng. "Does this mean I'm an Avenger? Because if I'm your Guy-in-the-Chair, that means I help you out during missions and stuff, which means I'm an Avenger by association. Does that get me in the Avengers facility?" Ned gasped as another thought occurred to him. "Is my chair in the Avengers facility? Is it a nice chair? Is there a whole ceremony to become an Avenger? I don't need to sacrifice some drops of blood, do I? Oh, man! Peter's gonna be so excited! Wait till I—"

"Yes, let's wait a minute." Mr. Stark held up a hand, a somewhat panicked look overcoming him. What did he get himself into? "Sit down. You're way ahead of me, Mr. Leeds. I said I was gonna give you a job. I didn't say what."

Ned sat back down and nodded. That totally made sense. Duh. He told himself to relax. Don't embarrass yourself. Act cool.

"So… is it a secret job? Like undercover?"

Mr. Stark cocked his head. "Sort of."

"I'll do it, Mr. Stark," Ned blurted out, nodding vigorously. "As long as it's going to be in between 4 and 7 in the afternoon every M-W-F and 3 and 7 every T-Th. I hope that's alright. I have school and I can't really skip school to be an Avenger." His eyes widened and he shook his hands. "I don't mean to say that I think school is more important than saving lives but I'm graduating in two months and I really need to finish everything so I can get into a good college and land a great internship. And my parents would kill me if they ever found out I was skipping school. So…" Ned exhaled. "Yeah."

Mr. Stark blinked a few times and then said, "Well, thank God this job isn't too time consuming. You can help me out right now and in exchange I'm offering you a Stark Industries internship."

"No way," Ned breathed. "Right now?" He looked around and then stood.

"Where are you going?"

"To go get a chair and my laptop. I mean, I can't be the Guy-in-the-Chair if I'm on a couch without a computer, right?"

"You don't need tech for this. Or a chair. The couch is fine. Sit, Mr. Leeds."

Ned sat.

"Alright. At 1700 hours yesterday, I uncovered a letter with my name on it inside Peter Parker's backpack. The timing was inopportune, however, seeing as Peter caught me and won't tell me what it is. I need you to find out using whatever means necessary."

Ned's expression softened and he slowly shook his head. "I'm sorry, Mr. Stark but that's… classified. I can't out Peter even if I wanted to."

Mr. Stark eyed him with a sly look. "So you want to."

Ned inhaled sharply. "I mean, I know what letter you're talking about. I saw Principal Morita give it to Peter myself and then I told him not to open it because it wasn't for him, it was for you."

"So, technically you want to tell me but can't because you don't want to jeopardize your friendship with Peter."

Ned nodded. "I'm really sorry, Mr. Stark. But I promised Peter I won't tell you what it was—" he stopped, looking thoughtful. "Unless…"

Mr. Stark's head perked up. "Unless?"

Ned grinned excitedly. "Unless I give you some spoilers without context."

"What the—I don't know what that means."

Ned nodded, cackling triumphantly. "Exactly! I'm going to give you a series of pictures... no, that's too easy. Let's act it out. I'm gonna act out some spoilers but I'm not going to explain the context. So, it's like I'm telling you but not really! It's genius! I'm helping you while also staying loyal to Peter!"

Tony shook his head, more to clear his thoughts than as an expression of what he understood. The kid lost him at 'Exactly.' But what did Tony have to lose? He already made sense of nothing.

Ned stood and asked Mr. Stark to stand too.

"I can't believe we're actually doing this!" Ned squealed.

They rounded the coffee table to stand facing each other without anything blocking them.

"Before we start, Mr. Stark, I'd just really like to say thank you for this opportunity. If someone would have told me years ago that I'd have you inside my house, drinking coconut water, playing a guessing game, I would never have believed them. I just… thank you for changing my life. I can now die peacefully knowing I have bonded in the best way possible with you."

Mr. Stark gave him a deadpan look. "No problem, kid. Now, let's do this."

Ned held up his index finger.

"Oh, so this is like charades!" stated Tony. Finally. Something he understood. "First word."

"It's not charades. This means the first spoiler."

"But isn't that the same as the first word? So it is charades."

"It's not—fine. It's charades."

Mr. Stark grinned smugly. "I told you."

Ned pressed the index finger to his lips.

Mr. Stark nodded. "Shh. Shh? How is that even a spoiler?"

"No!" Ned wiggled his index finger again.

Tony decided to let this play out before interrupting. "Yeah, okay. First word. "

Ned took Mr. Stark's right hand and shook it.

"We're… shaking hands," guessed Mr. Stark.

Ned nodded and then raised two fingers.

"Second word already? But the first one didn't even—"

Ned started clapping.

Mr. Stark shook his head. "I'm not… following…"

Ned tried his best not to burst out laughing at the look of confusion on Mr. Stark's face. How he wished he had this all on video.

Ned kept on clapping his hands and even decided to insert a little hoot, pumping his fist in the air.

"That's it? That's the clue? Applauding?"

Ned ignored his questions and held up three fingers next. He started bowing to Mr. Stark who took a step back to avoid getting hit.

Ned bowed exaggeratedly, wiggling his eyebrows at Mr. Stark like the billionaire should know what the hell that meant.

The look on Mr. Stark's face made Ned snort in repressed laughter and the teenager held up five fingers.

Mr. Stark did a double take. "Fifth word? We were just on three! Oh, you mean 5 words?"

"No, I just meant 'Wait.' Because I can't believe I'm actually doing this with the Tony Stark. This is so cool!" Ned closed his eyes and relished the moment before composing himself. "Okay. Back to the spoilers. Fourth one."

Ned stepped forward and hugged Mr. Stark.

The man stood really, really still.

Finally, Ned let go and pulled back. He smiled sheepishly at Tony. "I'm sorry. That wasn't the fourth spoiler. I was actually done by the third one and I just thought I'd slip a hug in there."

Mr. Stark gave him a look which Ned replied to with a, "You can't blame a fan!"

It was that moment when Imelda came back, carrying a tray with two plates of steaming noodles and one to-go box.

"Iron Man! I have your favorite. Noodles still hot."

She put the tray on the coffee table and the two men joined her on the couch.

Imelda put one plate and the to-go box in front of Mr. Stark. "For you to bring home."

"Aw, thank you, Imelda."

Imelda handed Ned the second plate of noodles and instructed, "Eat your bihon."

While both Mr. Stark and Ned ate, Imelda decided to fill the silence.

"My grandson," she said to Mr. Stark, "he's graduating top of his class! Top 5."

"Oh, really? Congratulations, Mr. Leeds."

"Thanks," blushed Ned, giving himself a big serving of noodles.

"And your classmate Peter, what number is he?"

Ned choked on his food and shook his head, eyes widening.

Imelda went on, oblivious to her grandson's wishes. "His best friend Peter graduating number 3 or is it number 2? Very smart and nice boy."

Mr. Stark looked from Ned who had tears prickling at his eyes from coughing on the noodles and back to Imelda who kept on speaking, "Peter also get that award, right, Ned? What did you say last night? The uh... Basta... the highest award in the school."

Mr. Stark put his fork down and looked at Ned. "Oh, really?"

Ned finally swallowed the noodles in his mouth and he shook his head. "It's nothing. It's really nothing. Peter doesn't want it to be a big deal."

"Well, it sure sounds like a big deal. Is this what he's been keeping from me?"

Ned quickly shook his head… too quickly for that matter, which pretty much told Tony all he needed to know.

He raised his brow.

Ned groaned, finally relenting under the hero's scary eyebrow. "He didn't want you to know."

"Why not? Peter should be proud!" said Imelda.

"He should be proud!" added Mr. Stark. "That's not bad news. Why would he hide—"

"He doesn't—ohh, Peter's gonna kill me. He just doesn't want you to know."

"That's what was in letter, isn't it? I'm Peter's sponsor. I get a copy of his narrative reports and his grades. Of course Morita is going to send me the good news about this award. Why would he hide it? Did Peter want it to be a surprise? Karen hinted as much. Yeet and wigs and all that."

"Yeet and wigs?" Ned repeated.

Mr. Stark nodded seriously.

"Um, well, that's what I thought too!" said Ned, glancing worriedly at Mr. Stark to his grandmother and back to Mr. Stark. He could feel the bead of sweat forming on his temple from all their scrutinizing gazes. "But Peter was like, 'I don't want Mr. Stark to know!' And I was like, 'But dude think of what he's gonna give you as a graduation gift when he does know! And Iron Man will go to grad and we'll be the coolest people there.' And Peter's like 'Exactly! I don't want him to be there—"

"What?!" The hurt look on Mr. Stark's face was enough to bring a flush of shame on Ned's.

Ned lowered his head, unable to look Mr. Stark in the eyes. The teenager sighed. "I'm sorry, Mr. Stark, but that's what he said."

Tony nodded and then stood, taking the to-go box with him. He shook hands with Ned's grandmother saying he just remembered he had somewhere he needed to be. "Thank you for the time and your hospitality, Imelda. Mr. Leeds, I'll be in touch with that internship."

Ned looked up in surprise. "You're still giving me an internship? Even after everything I said?"

Mr. Stark smiled kindly and put a hand on Ned's shoulder. "You came through, kid. And I always follow up on my end of the deal. I look forward to working with you."

Ned followed Mr. Stark to the shoe rack by the front door. Mr. Stark changed his shoes.

"I'm really sorry, Mr. Stark," Ned apologized again, feeling entirely bad about the whole thing, especially with Mr. Stark still giving him a job when Ned only managed to hurt his feelings.

"Don't beat yourself up over what happened, kid. It's nobody's fault. Not yours or Peter's."

"Are you going to talk to him?"

"You bet. I think there's something we're all missing here that's causing everything to make zero sense. "

When Tony got back inside his car, he uploaded the coordinates for Peter's house in the GPS.

He needed to talk to May.

 **A/N:**

 **Lola - grandmother**

 **Buko - coconut**

 **Batchoy - a famous noodle soup in Iloilo, province in the Philippines.**

 **Tita - aunt**

 **Bihon - rice noodles**

 **Basta - literally means 'just' or 'enough' but is sometimes used as an expression when unable to convey something with the appropriate words**


	3. May

_Ring ring._

Tony Stark's name was on the caller ID.

May flashed a look of confusion at her phone. Tony didn't usually call her.

Worried it might be about Peter, May picked up.

Tony's voice came on as soon as she put the phone against her ear.

"I know this is last minute and Pepper will kill me if she knew I didn't even call in advance, so I'm calling. Can we talk? Your place?"

"Um…"

"Please."

May sighed. "Okay."

…

Tony greeted May Parker with a sheepish grin and a brown paper bag.

May leaned against the door frame, watching him. She could spot Delmar's logo on one side of it.

"If you're thinking this is a bribe slash apology gift, it totally is," said the billionaire.

May eyed the package. She had thought of ordering in some dinner, but… She pressed her lips together, and took a deep breath.

It's Delmar's.

She accepted the bribe/apology gift. "This seems serious."

Tony shrugged, his expression purposefully unreadable.

With a wave of her hand, May motioned for him to come in. She went straight to the kitchen.

"Peter isn't here, by the way," May said, as she began to take out the sandwiches. "He's still out on patrol."

And by patrol May meant watching the crosswalks for old ladies needing help. She and Peter agreed (she gave him an ultimatum), no major Spidey-action on weekdays.

With an audible clink, Tony settled another paper bag on the dining table while May began cutting the sandwiches.

She heard Tony take out the drinks from the bag and then he walked towards her, leaned against the counter, and watched her slice.

"You brought Delmar's and alcohol," said May, giving him a side-eye. "I'm worried."

Tony was uncharacteristically quiet for a minute, chewing his lip. And then he said, "How do you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Parenting."

The knife in May's hands stilled. She looked at Tony. "Is Pepper pregnant?"

Tony's eyes widened a fraction, not expecting the question, and then he shook his head. "I wish. But no, she's not. Going back to the question, how'd you do it?"

"So, Pepper's not pregnant but your asking about parenting. Is this about Peter?" May asked as she walked over to the dining room, Tony following her.

They sat down.

"Could you just answer the question?" Tony said impatiently, breaking open the bottles of beer he brought and handing one to her.

Accepting it, May sighed and shrugged. "I don't know, to be honest. I struggle finding a balance between being aunt and mother." She placed a sandwich on Tony's plate and motioned for him to eat.

"Does he… does Peter ever get tired… or embarrassed of you?" Tony asked hesitantly. "You know, not inviting you to places, not wanting to hang out?"

"No. Never. We're close and he tells me everything." May eyed Tony. "Why? Is he avoiding you?"

Tony bit into his sandwich, avoiding May's eyes. He shook his head.

May raised a brow. "Tony,"

Tony swallowed and then caught May's eye. The look of uncertainty on his face was so foreign that it was enough to throw May off. Tony was never uncertain. From all the information that May knows of him from his public appearances and what he reveals to her in private, it always felt like he knew what he was doing.

To look like that… well… May took a deep breath and reached for her beer. This was going to be a long night.

…

Tony Stark was tipsy and if understanding his train of thought when he was sober gave May a migraine, trying to catch up to him when he was inebriated was exhausting.

And it was only 8 in the evening.

This wasn't fun at all.

"Hold on a minute! Ned hacked the suit?"

"Yep," Tony said, popping the P. "And now Karen's stonewalling me. I mean, I could bypass her code, but that would be a major invasion of Peter's privacy and he already doesn't want me in graduation, hacking into his suit would just make me look salty. That means bitter by the way. Which doesn't make sense because salt isn't even bitter."

"What?" May's brows seemed to be permanently knit together now. "Okay, go back. Who said you weren't going to graduation?"

"Led Needs.

May groaned. "Look, let's just slow down. Karen told you that Peter was keeping a secret, a secret that would surprise everyone and Ned said—"

"Snatch their wig," Tony corrected. "Make them yeet." And then he suddenly cried out 'yeet' in a high pitched voice.

"Stop that!" May hissed. "I have neighbors!"

Thankfully, he did. "Anyway, so I had to find out from the Filipino kid's grandma who told the grandson to tell me that Peter was accepting this big award and he told Ned who told me that he didn't want me in graduation."

So that was the big issue here. Tony Stark thought he wasn't invited to Peter's graduation. May was dealing with a bruised ego and offended parental sensibilities.

Tony looked at the last piece of Delmar's sandwich on the table.

"This is actually really good," Tony said, pointing at it. "Now, I understand Karen's sex reference."

May stared at him.

In a moment of clarity, Tony blinked, realized what he said, and then shook his head. "You don't want to know. It's better that way. Unless you want the yeets keeping you up at night."

May shook her head to clear her thoughts, memes and all.

"Tony, listen to me. You're going to graduation," she assured him.

Tony shook his head. "The best friend said I'm not."

May sighed and shook her head harder. "I have two tickets. Peter gave me two tickets to graduation. Who else is the other ticket going to be for?"

"Karen?"

May rolled her eyes. "You're impossible." She tried again. "Peter could be surprising you, you know. He could be waiting until the last possible minute and then when you think you weren't invited, you actually are. Remember what Karen told you? That he wanted the wigs stolen?"

"Snatched."

"Stolen. Snatched. Same thing. Point is, you are a wig snatcher. He wanted to surprise people. Maybe he wanted to keep your attendance a secret so that his friends would be surprised."

Tony's face lit up a little and May allowed herself a momentary respite.

It didn't last too long.

"Or… he just doesn't want me there." Tony frowned and it made May groan inwardly.

"Tony," May said, reaching out to take Tony's hand, but the man drew it back.

Tony shrugged which again was, very unlike him. This man always held himself up proudly and confidently.

Tony focused on his third bottle of beer. He brought four. May's barely even touched hers. She mentally debated hiding hers in case Tony got any bright ideas and drank it.

"I totally get it," said Tony, "I mean, graduation is supposed to be about him and if I go then it's going to be about me which isn't what it's supposed to be, right? Enough things are about me. Even I wouldn't want me in my own graduation. Which, come to think of it, was true. Did you know I skipped my own college graduation? Yep. Just had them mail my diploma."

May frowned in concern. Was Tony always this… insecure? "Tony, I think you should just talk to Peter instead of—"

"What's there to talk about? Sometimes, kids just get tired of their parents. It's called Parent Fatigue. I made that up," he whispered. "And since he hasn't gotten tired of you yet, it's bound to be me." There was that uncharacteristic shrug of his shoulders again. "Friends leave, kids leave. I figured it wouldn't happen to me since I'm not his dad but it apparently works with mentors too. He's probably embarrassed of m—"

There was a sudden "What?!" that came from above them and something big dropped from the ceiling.

May screamed in surprise while Tony shot to his feet.

It was Peter, still wearing his Spider-Man suit.

"I told you not to do that!" cried May, hand clutching her chest.

But Peter wasn't listening. He pulled his mask off and then said, "You think that? Mr. Stark!" He cried out exasperatedly, shaking his head like he can't quite believe what he's hearing.

The teenager marched up to his aunt for backup. "May, tell him! Tell him he's like the greatest mentor ever!"

Tony crossed his arms defensively. "Have you been up there, dropping eaves this whole time? How much did you hear?"

Peter stepped back; he knew the signs of a scolding when he heard one. "I wasn't—I was just getting into my room— I helped a blind man find his dog—and I saw you—and I was—Mr. Stark, why would you even think I was embarrassed of you?"

"Well, what am I supposed to think? You told Led Needs you didn't want me there!"

"Led Need—Ned said what?" May watched as her nephew wore that pensive face of his, the one that he always wore whenever he was thinking seriously about something.

And then all of a sudden, Peter laughed.

"Are you laughing right now while I'm secretly offended?" Tony asked.

"Mr. Stark, Principal Morita wants you to be the commencement speaker."

"The what?" asked Tony.

"Him?" asked May.

"The speaker for the graduation! That's the big surprise. Nobody knows about it. I had to lie to Ned, even to you, because it might leak."

Well, now the whole secrecy thing made sense, May supposed. That and choosing the face of technology to be the speaker for a Science and Technology school's graduation.

She hit Tony on the arm. "I told you so."

"Oh," then Tony's eyes widened in understanding. "OH!"

Peter shyly rubbed the back of his head. "Yeah! I was gonna tell you about a month before grad. I figured it could wait until then. I even checked the letter to see if there were some important stuff you needed to know, just in case."

"So, I'm going?"

Peter nodded. "You are. You and May."

"But it's a secret," Tony stated, lowering his voice.

"It is."

"Nobody knows."

"Right. Except you and Principal Morita, of course."

Tony nodded slowly and then he barked a laugh, closing the gap between him and Peter to give the latter a pat on the back.

"Well, shit."

May stepped forward. "What's wrong?"

Tony turned to May, eyes slightly wide. "Now, I gotta figure out what to say to a bunch of teenagers."

Peter laughed. "You can ask Karen to help you with that, Mr. Stark. She's got the perfect vocabulary."

"Don't even start with your slang vocabulary."

…

 _Ring ring._

Tony Stark's name was on the caller ID.

Again.

For a minute, May thought about rejecting the call. She really didn't need Tony coming over again, getting tipsy, and giving her no other choice than to call his fiancé to pick him up (because she wasn't about to let him drive home) and explain why he was there in the first place.

But the same paranoid thought that this could be about Peter made her answer it.

"Are you at home?"

"If I am, are you gonna visit?" May asked bluntly.

"I'm right outside your door. Please let me in."

May looked at her front door like she could see through it. Then, she looked at the work she brought home.

She should've known they weren't going to be touched after all.

She opened the door and saw Tony Stark waving another bag of Delmar's at her.

"No beer, I promise," he said.

May sighed. "This better be important."

Tony nodded seriously. "It is."

"Fine. Get in."

This time Tony led the way to the kitchen. He immediately sat on the dining table and let May handle the sandwiches.

May was aware of his eyes watching her, waiting for the right moment to speak.

It was uncomfortably quiet.

Finally, May placed the plate of sandwiches on the table and Tony went right to it.

"May, what am I gonna say?"

"Pardon?"

"I don't know what I'm gonna say!"

May took one sandwich for herself. She might as well just eat and listen. "I'm gonna need more context than just that."

"The graduation speech!"

"Oh! Well, you're Tony Stark. You always have something to say."

A brief of panic momentarily crossed Tony's face. "Not to teenagers! Look, toddlers, haters, the brass, the fans, supervillains trying to destroy the world, I get that. That's like changing the oil gears blindfolded. But teenagers are a whole different ball game. I never really understand what the hell goes on in their heads. Did you know Ned hacked my suit and changed the speech drive? I had my AI talking to me in memes. MEMES, MAY!"

"I know. You told me. Sandwich?"

Tony took one, saying, "These kids are an entirely new level of genius and I really want to make Pete proud. I don't want to embarrass him. Or Pepper. Or Morita."

"Okay, relax," stated May, abandoning her sandwich. She supposed she should be grateful that last week's visit had prepared her for this one.

In a span of two weeks, May had seen two different sides to Tony Stark that she started asking herself if a fraction of the persona he used in public was even real.

"And you know, I would ask Pepper but she's so stressed about the wedding that I can't have her know I'm worried about writing a graduation speech when what I should be writing are my vows."

"Yeah, no. Don't tell her." That woman doesn't need anymore stress. "Don't you have a speech writer who does these things for you?"

Tony gaped at May. "I'm not gonna be saying someone else's pre-written speech on Peter's graduation day, May."

May held her hands up. "Okay then."

Tony sighed and settled in his seat. He took a bite of sandwich and started talking again, "I was thinking of the tone, you know. Do I go all future-y or Yoda-y?"

"Just do you. Be yourself."

"But which one? There are just so many. I mean, I'm a billionaire; I could talk about making money. Kids are all about that. I'm also a philanthropist. Do I go that route? Talk about giving back? Serving others? But isn't that too cliché? Or do I go playboy? Forget I said that. Definitely not playboy. Don't tell Pepper. What do these kids even like? Do I use memes in my speech or is that too informal? I've never been to graduation May, you have to help me!"

"Alright, relax!" May said for the second time. "Just... Tony, you're doing this for Peter, right? And Peter idolizes you. He thinks you're the moon and he can't quite believe you're his mentor."

"Uh-huh. What does that have to do with the speech?"

May shushed him and continued, "These kids come from the same stock as Peter. They grew up with your legacy; not your father's, but yours. They see exactly just how transformative science and technology can be. I remember when Peter first saw Iron Man on TV, he spent the whole week trying to recreate the suit using his Legos, saying he wanted to be Iron Man when he grows up. That's the effect you have on these kids, Tony, you make them want to be real heroes.

"Now, we might not know them, know their specific likes and dislikes, whether they were ever pro or anti Accords, but in the end they're all the same. Just like Peter, they're going off to the bigger world of university where they realize hair color and body weight doesn't matter, where they can embrace difference and individuality. They're going to go to internships and realize that the corporate world isn't as black and white as they think. And these kids, need a mentor just like Peter. And for that moment during their graduation, that mentor is going to be you. So I suggest, you imagine that it's Peter you're talking to. What you would like to say to him?"

Tony nodded, eyes glazing in thought.

And then...

"I got it! I'm gonna offer them all internships!"

May stared at him.

"That's what you got from my whole thing? Be Oprah?"

"These kids don't care about words of wisdom from an old man like me, May! They're more concerned about landing summer jobs, getting into colleges! With an internship with yours truly, they can land that summer dream and put it in their resume, opening doors for Ivy league admittance! Two birds with one stone. HIT!"

May shook her head. Why did she even bother. But there was a smile on her face. Tony was on to something. "That'll do."

...

Tony Stark was on stage, speaking to a hundred graduates, and as he got closer to the end of his speech, he completely had everyone's attention now. He always had that way with people. He was magnetic and charming. Confident.

Nobody would have ever thought he had sat in May's apartment, shared his insecurities, and went through anxiety after anxiety.

"Now, you see, it's clear that what my generation has to offer is not enough to improve the world we live in. We've had years to change the world, and what we've added to it has only made an even bigger mess. I could die right now and the world will keep revolving. I would've done my part, done what I can, I live on through my tech, my legacy. But you, if you die, if all the youth disappear at the snap of a lunatic's fingers, then we're in trouble. Because only you—you crazy teenagers with all your memes and fantastical ideas and your empathy and your ability to connect—can make the world better. Only you can save it.

"Now, you may not know what you want to do when you grow up. Where will life's doors lead you? What are you gonna do with your life? Well, that's why in a few seconds, you will get a message from Stark International, bearing good news that you have been invited to participate in SI's summer internship program, covering various areas of discipline from mass media to robotics to global business."

A chorus of chatter broke out. Everywhere kids took out their phones, waiting for the message that will change their lives.

"Now, listen, listen, this isn't a reward for surviving high school. It's a challenge, a stepping stone to something greater. The 3-month internship will be on a rotational basis, first week you'll work in one area, on the second week another. That way you get to experience different specialties and find yours. The world needs more young minds at work. Get right to it!"

The applause was thundering, parents, students, and faculty alike clapping for the man on stage.

Underneath the ego, the goatee, the smirk, underneath all that armor, May realized, was a nervous, soft, passionate futurist.

May smiled. Peter was in good hands.


	4. Michelle

**Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel or any of its characters and lines from the movie used in this story. What is written here is for entertainment purposes only. I do not make any profits from it.**

Tony spotted Peter the minute he walked in Stark Industries' Food Hall.

The kid was stuffing his face with a burrito which wasn't unusual given his fast metabolism. He was wearing that annoying shirt about finding the variable X, also not uncharacteristic of his character and love of puns. And beside him was Ned—not a new sight—these two came as a pair in almost everything. But there was a girl with them. Bushy haired. Tan skin. Beautiful in a sort of mysterious way. _She_ was new.

Tony found his feet leading him to the table.

Peter stopped mid-chew as he looked Tony's way and he waved at his mentor.

When Tony reached their table, Peter and Ned rose in greeting.

The girl remained seated. Interesting.

"Hi, Mr. Stark!" said Ned.

"I thought you were in India for the week," said Peter.

"The Missus missed me," said Tony, "How's Bioengineering?"

At the mention of his real internship, Peter smiled almost manically. "It's only Monday but I think I've found my calling."

"How about you, Ned?"

"Oh, I'm in Sales," the kid said, frowning. Then he realized what he was doing and shook his head. "I'm not saying I'm ungrateful, because I am, really. Thank you so much for the internship, Mr. Stark. You were like Oprah in graduation." He started pointing and doing an impersonation of the host. "'You get an internship! And you get an internship! Everybody gets an internship!' but you know, Sales just isn't my thing."

Tony chuckled. "Maybe talk shows could be your thing."

Ned nudged Peter at his side and silently squealed.

Tony ignored them and looked at the girl who had taken to doodling on her table napkin.  
It looked like a drooling, star-struck Peter. The drawing was already mostly done. She must have been sketching it while they were eating.

Tony liked her already.

"That's really good," he said to her.

The girl looked up at him. Her expression was unreadable.

"This is MJ," Peter said and MJ rose to stand, shaking Tony's hand. "MJ, Mr. Stark."

"So, you're MJ, huh?" Tony gave Peter a knowing look and the kid responded by blushing slightly.

This was Tony's first time meeting Peter's girlfriend.

"I'm Michelle," she corrected, straight-faced. "My _friends_ call me MJ."

Tony didn't miss the emphasis on the word. He knew a line drawn when he heard one.

Michelle turned to Peter. "You talk to your boss about me, Parker?"

Peter's cheeks grew redder and he started to stammer. He nudged Ned, asking the guy for help.

"Oh, I'm more like his mentor than his boss," Tony said, saving Peter the trouble of answering. "He's the Padawan to my Obi Wan."

Ned gave Tony a thumbs up for remembering the metaphor Ned had taught him a few days back.

Michelle on the other hand, looked on, unimpressed.

"Where are _you_ assigned this week, Michelle?"

Michelle folded her arms. "I'm actually not an intern here."

"Michelle just came back from her internship in California," Peter supplied, smiling proudly.

"And we were just gonna go and give her a tour of the labs," added Ned.

"Wait, what?" Tony eyed the two boys. "You two playing hooky when you're supposed to be getting some hours in?"

Ned turned to Peter who turned to Michelle who didn't bother helping them get out of the trouble they landed themselves into.

Tony looked pointedly at Peter. "You have a date with a centrifuge, young man."

"We just thought we'd bring MJ to—"

"Uh-huh," Tony said disbelievingly. "Bringing dates to the labs is a precursor to an accident happening. And you're already a walking hazard. Don't think I don't know you forego wearing safety goggles when you're working."

"Are you spying on me?"

"I have 89 kids playing in my company. You bet I'm keeping eyes on each one of you. Michelle can stay with me until you're both done with your work."

"What?" asked Michelle, surprised.

"But. Mr. Stark—"

"No, buts. You wanted a real internship and interns work for a _résumé_. Don't worry. I'll give Michelle a tour. Show her all the toys we have, what she missed. It'll be impressive."

Peter and Ned glanced worriedly between the two, uncertain that leaving them together would be a good decision. MJ could be quite difficult if she wanted to be. And Mr. Stark… well, Mr. Stark was Mr. Stark.

"Alright," said Ned, slowly.

"If you say so," said Peter.

…

"Michelle, welcome to candy land," Tony said, relishing in the sounds of electronic beeping, at the sights of flying drones that his engineers had taken to using as a way to pass notes, and at the occasional rolling android that bumped into employees who hadn't eaten a snack yet.

"Stark Industries has 7 floors dedicated to R&D and we're standing at the gateway." Tony grinned at Michelle. "It's overwhelming and impressive, I know, but try not to faint."

Michelle only raised a brow at him.

Tony motioned at her to follow him.

They snaked their way around the engineers, robots, blueprints, and stopped at a closed glass room.

There was a rotund robot… or what looked like a robot inside the room. It had arms and a head, but a round spherical body sans feet which it used to roll around the confined space.

It hugged the two engineers inside.

"You ever seen that animated movie _Baymax_?"

"You mean _Big Hero 6_ ," Michelle corrected.

"Same thing. Well, it gave one of our engineers an idea to create a companion for the elderly. Someone to help around in nursing homes, provide companionship, etc. Old people like the hug feature. Probably reminds them of the grandkids they have or never had. We're playing around with it for a while until we can bring down cost and make it look… cuter."

Right now, Not-Baymax looked like a cold metal sphere.

"So, it's like a dog, but expensive."

"Except dogs aren't allowed in nursing homes. And nobody in their right mind will buy old people a playmate. Which is why we're donating them."

Michelle watched as Not-Baymax rolled up to a table to play chess. "Does it have any medical functions?"

"It can do CPR."

"That's it?"

"And call 911."

Michelle gave Tony a look that said, 'Really?'

"You're expecting a lot out of a billion dollar playmate," said Tony. "Don't pressure her. She'll get anxiety."

Michelle pressed her lips together and Tony frowned.

"What, you don't like her?"

Michelle shrugged. "I've seen better."

"Where?"

" _Big Hero 6._ "

…

Tony decided to take things up a notch and brought Michelle one floor up. If she was anything like Ned and Peter, she'd like what he was gonna show her.

"Bionic limbs," Tony stated, lifting one arm off its stand. He held out the arm for Michelle to take. "It feels real. Go on. Touch it."

Michelle took the arm by the hand, almost like a handshake and with her thumb, stroked it. Suddenly, the arm rippled in color and within a few seconds, copied Michelle's tan skin.

"It comes in a customizable skin color and arm length."

Michelle took the arm and studied it.

"Does that happen every time it shakes a hand?" Michelle asked, "Because if my hand went around copying other people's skin color, I'd be pretty upset."

Tony sighed. "Ned asked the same thing. Are you three on a similar wavelength or something? No. The melanin feature only works in calibration and of course, when you recalibrate it like if you're in the mood for a tan and want your arm to match."

Michelle hummed and Tony eyed her, a smile growing on his face.

"Was that an impressed _hmm_?" He grinned. "Admit it. The arm is cool."

Michelle's face continued to be blank, betraying no emotion Tony could read.

"Did I mention the arm has a sense of touch and a selection of textures? Because it'd be weird if one hand was rough from all the manual labor while the other arm was as smooth as a baby. We like symmetry."

Michelle reached the arm out behind her and started to scratch her back.

Tony's eyes widened and he snatched the hand back protectively. "What are you doing? This is a billion dollar arm and you're using it as a back scratcher?"

Michelle gave him a look. "What else do you use your arm for? What, you seriously made a bionic arm and didn't give any thought if it could provide the same satisfaction in scratching your back as a real arm can?"

Tony opened his mouth to reply and then shut it again.

To Michelle's amusement, Tony reached the arm out behind him and scratched his back too.

"It's lacking a bit of edge to its fingernails," Michelle told him.

Tony nodded. "You're absolutely right. I can't believe we missed that. You're a genius."

Michelle waved his compliment away as Tony wrote up the necessary correction to the fingernails.

"The place I interned at had a security guy with a bionic arm and he said that scratching his back was difficult at first until his arm was upgraded."

"Who was the manufacturer?"

"Some African country," she said vaguely. "His upgraded arm was cool, though. It could break open into three different weapons. There was like a shield, a spear, and a blaster."

"Hold on. He scratched his back with an arm that housed weapons? He's going to blow his back out one day."

"It was pretty impressive, though, getting all that to fit in an arm. Does your arm do that?"

Tony shook his head. "We don't sell weapons anymore. But that _is_ pretty cool… And concerning," he said as an afterthought. "Why the hell does a security guard even have a _spear_ in his arm? What African company did you work at in California?"

Michelle shrugged. "An African outreach center."

"By the name of?"

Michelle looked hesitant but at Tony's nudging, finally said, "The Wakandan International Outreach Center."

Tony gaped at Michelle. "The Wakandan Int—" Tony started to nod. "Okay. Tour's over."

"I knew you were going to get upset if I told you."

"No, I'm not upset. On the contrary, I'm very embarrassed. I've been trying to show you all my toys but you failed to tell me you've already seen the _hottest, most advanced_ toys in the world. I'm not an idiot. Shuri's tech is genius. No wonder the security guy has a Terminator in his hand and packing some medieval shit weaponry." He raised a finger at Michelle. "Don't tell Shuri I called spears medieval or else I'll never hear the end of it."

Michelle couldn't tell him that there wasn't even a way for her to tell on him to the Princess of Wakanda because Tony kept on talking.

"You need to tell me all about your internship. Shit, I'm jealous." He started to walk out of the floor and Michelle had no choice but to follow. "Did they allow you to work on Vibranium? What was the Terminator's arm like? Shuri never returns any of my snaps. Peter said she would."

…

"You're his intern now? How did _that_ happen?" Peter asked MJ when they finally met up later in the day.

"I was wrong about him," MJ admitted.

"He impressed you, didn't he?" Peter said smugly. "Well, his inventions are pretty cool."

"I'm not talking about his inventions. I'm talking about _him._ I didn't expect him to be so… open and welcoming when I told him I interned at the Wakandan Outreach. I thought he'd be jealous and you know, a little insecure. Male fragile ego and all that. He seemed like the type."

"But he wasn't?"

"No! He was really cool about it. He wanted to know everything but not about the technical stuff. Probably because he knew I couldn't even tell him if I wanted to, what with the NDA, but he just mainly asked about the experience of working with them."

"So… you like him."

"Yeah. Your dad's pretty cool."

Peter blushed. "I told you. He's not my dad, just _like_ a dad."

"Fine. Your Obiwan is pretty cool."

Peter grinned.

 **A/N: Thanks a lot to oofkatisanerd on tumblr who helped me try to get a sense of MJ's character. Writing this chapter was difficult.**


	5. Peter

**Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel or any of its characters and lines from the movie used in this story. What is written here is for entertainment purposes only. I do not make any profits from it.**

Just because Peter became a "real" intern didn't mean his other "internship" was being neglected.

It just meant that after work hours, Peter had more work to do. Especially on the weekends.

"Ready, Pete?" asked Tony, his Iron Man helmet coming down over his face.

"Go high, Mr. Stark. Go high!"

And then the latest version of Peter's spider webs started shooting at them from the sky.

The objective: evade and destroy.

"I don't know why we need to train using the spider-webs, Mr. Stark," Peter had said earlier that noon.

"Because we need to find out how durable the new version is, Pete. And isn't it a bit more exciting knowing if your web fluid hits you, it's gonna stick on you for 8 hours?"

So, now, here Iron Man and Spider-Man were, blasting out the webby projectiles.

Peter had never really been on the opposite end of his web-fluid before. The experience was beginning to be kind of thrilling, but not in a super-villain-out-to-destroy-the-world way. In a fun way.

Plus, it helped that Peter's spider senses aided him in taking out the web-balls before they could—

"Mr. Stark, Look out!"

Peter felt more than saw the direction that the web-ball was heading for—Mr. Stark's back.

Peter took off, jumping at Mr. Stark to tackle him down and away from the projectile.

But the web fluid had already found purchase, hitting Iron Man's back and exploding in an even bigger web around the spine of the suit.

And just two seconds later—  
"Oof!" Tony was on his face on the floor, a teenager on his back.

"Friday, end session," Tony coughed.

There was a sound of the gym powering down.

"I'm sorry Mr. Stark," came Peter's voice all the way from the suit's ear. Tony craned his head to the right and was face to face with the Spider-Man mask. "I tried to take the hit for you but I wasn't fast enough."

"That's okay, kid. Now get off me."

Tony saw Peter's gloved hands push himself off from the floor and—

Tony felt something pull at his back.

Peter tried again.

And there was an even harder tug.

"Mr. Stark? There's a slight problem."

Peter didn't need to explain. Friday had the suit's damage report on Tony's heads-up display and Tony saw exactly what the problem was.

The web fluid was all over his back. And so was Peter.

"I'm stuck."

"I know."

"I'm gonna retract the suit, sir."

"No, no! It could damage the suit." Tony sighed. "Okay. I'm gonna get up. Don't move."

Tony lifted himself off with one hand, steadying himself with his knee, and then he pushed himself off with the other hand.

It was quite of a challenge given he had to shift his center of balance to account for Peter's weight

Finally, Tony managed to get up and Peter found himself hanging limply from his mentor's back, not really knowing where to put his arms or his legs.

Should he just wrap his arms around Mr. Stark's neck and his legs around Mr. Stark's waist like he would if Mr. Stark would give him a piggyback ride?

Not that Mr. Stark would ever give Peter a piggyback ride. Even if Peter asked him to, Mr. Stark would say they weren't at that point in their mentor-mentee relationship.

Mr. Stark must have had a sense of what was going in Peter's head because he said, "Just put your arms around me, Pete."

And just like that, Peter was on Tony's back like a baby monkey on his mother's.

"What are we gonna do, Mr. Stark?"

"Fortunately, Pete, we're both geniuses. And among the two of us, we can think of something."

...

Unfortunately for them, Friday's simulation revealed that retracting the suit would destroy both suits which was way too costly in damages when they could just wait for the fluid to dissolve in 8 hours.

In addition, using micro lasers would risk injuring Peter and the soap and water thing definitely wasn't an option.

They were going to have to wait it out.

"On the bright side, Mr. Stark, now we know exactly how durable the fluid is," Peter laughed nervously.

It was kind of awkward, Peter had to admit, but also a little funny, because who wouldn't find the sight of Iron Man piggybacking Spider-Man funny? Besides, it could be much worse.

"It's a good thing we can pee inside the suit, Mr. Stark," said Peter. "Can you imagine how embarrassing it would be for both of us if we had to see each other pee? It'd be even worse for you because I'd have to pee on your back and—"

Tony cringed at the mental image and retracted his helmet.

He angled his face towards Peter. "I'm gonna stop you right there."

Peter's mask retracted as well and he looked a bit nervous. "Okay."

"We're gonna be stuck together for 8 _long_ hours with you literally breathing down my neck. So, we need to set some boundaries—"

"Some boundar-you're joking, right? We're literally attached right now."

"What boundaries we can have left, at least."

"Like what?"

"I'm limiting you to 2 pop culture references and 2 puns. That's it."

Peter pressed his lips together and Tony did his best to look like the kid had no other choice but to agree.

"Only if I get to ask 2 things from you too."

Oh, the little shit.

"Fine."

"We get a picture of us together to remember this legendary moment—"

Tony made a choking sound at the back of his throat.

Peter grinned and Tony was already regretting agreeing to his terms.

 _"And_ you get to give me a piggyback ride."

Sometimes Tony forgot that Peter, despite his genius, was still a kid with frivolous goals in life.

 _Hour 1_

"Peter, your phone is a disgrace."

Peter was currently trying to text Ned the picture of him and Mr. Stark, and his phone was right in Tony's face—his cracked, damaged phone to be precise.

"Well, the suit doesn't exactly have pockets, Mr. Stark."

"This is horrifying. It's like watching a horror movie. Please get it out of my face."

"Just two more seconds. The pic is still sending aaand there."

 _Ring ring._

Ned's face flashed on the screen.

"Don't answer that."

"But it's Ned!"

Peter slid the option to answer and Ned's face came into view.

The kid's eyes slowly widened, flicking from Tony and then to Peter who was grinning madly by Tony's shoulder.

"OH MY GOD YOU WEREN'T JOKING!"

"No, dude!"

"Dude!"

"I know!"

"This officially means that you two are IronDad and SpiderKid."

Tony repressed a smile, ever since Ned let slip that Peter saw Tony as a dad, it wasn't difficult treating Peter like a son in return.

Ned took a deep breath.

"Man, you and MJ are so lucky! Mr. Stark, at the risk of sounding very shameless, can I be your intern next week?"

"Uhh, you and I aren't there yet."

 _Hour 2_

Pepper walked inside the lab, the exhaustion evident on her face.

"The Watanabes weren't happy that you cancelled—" She trailed off, jaw going slack at the sight. "What is going on here?"

Tony smiled sheepishly at her. "Yeah, I told you it's an emergency."

Peter waved at Pepper. "Hi, Pepper. Mr. Stark and I are kind of in a… _sticky_ situation."

Tony rolled his eyes. "Long story short: he's stuck to my back. Literally. For 8 hours."

"8 hours?!"

"Now you see why I cancelled."

Pepper sighed and Tony felt bad… a tiny bit. He wasn't regretting missing that meeting, though.

He walked towards her and took her hand. "I'm sorry, honey."

"Are you gonna hide out here all day?"

Peter nodded. "Mr. Stark's sort of embarrassed."

Pepper laughed. "I'm gonna go and placate the Watanabes." She pointed at the two men. "Please try to behave for 8 hours. Can you boys do that?"

"I will if he will," Tony said.

Peter scoffed at him. "Don't worry, Pepper. I'll just... h _ang_ around."

"That makes two puns, kid!"

 _Hour 3_

Being stuck in a lab the whole day wasn't so bad.

It was just like any other day, except Peter went where Tony went and vice versa.

"Do you know what this reminds me of?" asked Peter.

"What?"

"Yoda and Luke."

"Oh, God."

"But the mentor is the one carrying the mentee."

Pop culture reference aside, Peter had the bright idea to create a serum to dissolve the web fluid.

"If we're successful, can we call it bug spray?"

Tony laughed against his better judgement.

 _Hour 4_

The look on Rhodey's face when he entered the lab was enough for Tony to lob a nano ball at him, an attempt to deter the man from cracking any jokes.

It didn't work.

Rhodey was beside himself with laughter.

"Tony,"

"Don't say it, Jim. The kid is listening. Be a good example."

"You got a spider on your back."

"God damnit."

Tony had to mute the audio in his suit just to drown out the sounds of Peter's and Rhodey's laughter.

 _Hour 4_

"Ready, Mr. Stark?" Peter grinned.

Tony sighed. Might as well get it over and done with.

He positioned himself in a running stance and then proceeded to run around the lab.

"YEEEEEET."

 _Hour 5_

"Peter, you're getting bread crumbs all over my shoulder."

"Sorry."

 _Hour 6_

"Mr. Stark, I just realized something. This is technically a hug, right?"

Tony stilled. "No, it isn't."

Peter grinned. "It is. It's a back hug." He set his chin on Tony's shoulder and wrapped his arms tighter around his mentor. After the first hour of clinging unto Mr. Stark, the awkwardness was nonexistent now.

"It's not. Stop it." Tony half-heartedly tried to pry Peter's hands away, but there was a beginnings of a smile on his face.

"Ben used to give me piggyback rides all the time. So, this somehow brings back memories."

Tony wasn't even bothering to hide his smile now. "Well, you _are_ my SpiderKid."

 _Hour 7_

"How are my boys doing?"

Tony saved the Bug Spray Simulation for another day and turned to Pepper, a finger pressed to his mouth.

"Ssh. He's sleeping."

Pepper smiled at the sight. Peter was fast asleep, cheek resting on Tony's shoulder, lips slightly parted in sleep.

Tony in turn looked dead on his feet. He felt it too, but he managed a tired smile.

"Hi."

"Hi." Pepper smiled back at him. She cupped his cheek and ran a hand through his hair.

"You've been on your feet since this morning."

"It's not that bad. The suit's keeping me standing."

"Well, think of it this way. In a few months, you'll be carrying something a lot smaller. Lighter maybe but still just as tiring." She caught his eye knowingly and the corner of her lips curled up. "And you'll look back on this whole thing and thank Peter for preparing you for that moment."

Tony's eyes darted from her to her stomach and back to her. "How long have you known?"

"Since this morning. Friday confirmed it."

Tony pulled Pepper in for a kiss, his wife smiling against his mouth.

Peter stirred slowly, turning his head over to rest on another cheek.

"Get a room," he groaned sleepily.

 _Hour 8_

The news of Pepper's pregnancy managed to occupy Tony's thoughts for the last hour.

The thought of carrying a baby with a carrier on his back or on his chest sent a pleasant warmth through him.

He wondered if Peter knew, had somehow heard it in his sleep. Peter would make a great older brother.

"No offense, Mr. Stark, but I think we're gonna need a break from each other when this is all over."

Tony chuckled. "Pete, you've already drooled on me. I think we're way past 'Mr. Stark.'"

Peter fell silent.

After a while he said, "I had a good time today, Tony."

"I did too, kid." Tony patted Peter's arm. "Hey, hour's almost over. Want to go on a last piggyback ride?"

Tony looked at Peter and there was that pure unadulterated smile on the kid's face.

Suddenly, 8 hours didn't feel all that long.

 **A/N: There you have it. Thanks for reading!**


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